Most people feel awkward around grief and either stay away or say the wrong thing. Neither helps. Here's what actually does.
What helps
- Show up consistently over time — the weeks and months after a loss, not just the immediate aftermath
- Say their name: 'I've been thinking about you since Sarah died'
- Practical help beats offers: 'I'm dropping off dinner on Thursday' beats 'Let me know if you need anything'
- Listen without trying to fix or reframe the loss
What to avoid
- 'They're in a better place'
- 'I know how you feel'
- 'At least...' (any sentence starting with 'at least')
- 'You need to stay strong'
- Disappearing after the first week
If a friend is in crisis, encourage them to contact Cruse Bereavement Support (0808 808 1677) or Samaritans (116 123). If you're worried about someone's safety, call 999.