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How to write a wedding speech: the structure, the stories and what not to say

A great wedding speech feels effortless. It almost never is. Here is the structure and method that produces memorable speeches.

The structure that works

Opening (30 seconds) — introduce yourself and your relationship to the couple. Story (2–3 minutes) — one specific memory that illuminates a quality of the person being toasted. The couple (30 seconds) — why they are right for each other, briefly and sincerely. Toast (15 seconds) — a sentence, raise glass. Total: 3–4 minutes maximum.

The stories that work

Specific, visual, and revealing a truth about the person. Not chronological ('I met X at school and then...') but a single scene, described well. The best wedding speech stories make the person laugh in recognition. Avoid any story that requires explanation of context — if you need to set it up for more than 15 seconds, choose another story.

What not to say

Anything that the person (or their parents) would prefer not said in public. Anything about previous relationships. Anything about the speech being something you hate doing. Anything that goes on so long it becomes about you. The test: would the person giving the speech be comfortable with every word being reported in a newspaper?

Our picks compared

PickProductBest for
Top pick A5 heavyweight matte cardSpeech card Check price →
Book How to Write a Wedding Speech guide UKSpeech guide Check price →
Toast Champagne prosecco wedding toast setToast drinks Check price →
Cards Wedding speech prompt cards set printedPrompt cards Check price →

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Frequently asked questions

How long should a wedding speech be?
Best man speech: 5–7 minutes. Father of the bride: 5–7 minutes. Groom/bride: 5–7 minutes. Other speeches: 3–5 minutes. The most common speech mistake is going over 10 minutes — by which point even the most engaged audience has drifted. The second most common: underestimating how much longer a speech is when read aloud versus timed in the head.
What is the best man's speech structure?
1. Introduce yourself and explain your relationship with the groom. 2. Two stories about the groom — one that celebrates him, one that's embarrassing but not cruel. 3. A short tribute to the bridesmaids. 4. A closing tribute to the couple and toast. End on warmth, not the funniest joke.